How to be resilient
by Selda Koydemir
“People who generally view stressors as a challenge and an opportunity to grow, as opposed to perceiving them as a threat, are indeed likely to cope better with them and less likely to experience negative wellbeing outcomes.” — Selda Koydemir
This mindset isn’t easy to maintain (let me tell ya…), but if you’re trying to ingrain it into your skull, try asking yourself these questions:
- What can I learn from this situation?
- What opportunity is there for me to grow?
- What could be beneficial about this negative event?
- Is there anything I can be grateful for?
On the emotional side of things, resilience is a mental battle more than anything. Selda touches on dealing with difficult emotions, “…Every emotion has a function. They are great sources of information about you, your values, and whether there are things that you want to change in your life.”
Resilience also doesn’t have to be a one-person team. There’s no “i” in “reslence” they tell me. Seriously, though. “…Don’t wait for a disaster to occur to connect; make sure you have supportive relationships that nurture your sense of self-worth and need for intimacy, which in turn can contribute to resilience.” — Selda Koydemir
Lastly, I loved this point from Selda. It’s a simple reminder to face your challenges head-on. “If you’re overly avoidant of challenges in life then, when an unavoidable hardship arises, you won’t have developed the necessary skills to cope.”
My two cents: Personally, I’ve been trying to give myself a mental tattoo of permanently asking the question of ‘how could this situation/challenge be worse?’ during tough times. And 9/10, things can almost always be worse. Gratitude helps ground me.
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